none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
