You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
