I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My dick has a subreddit
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
