I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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