I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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