Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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