At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
