walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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