I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
