so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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