Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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