My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I could fuck to npr.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
