i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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