you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
