Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
