Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
