fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
