apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
