ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you had me at cake vodka
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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