No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
