Who wears a wallet chain?!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
