How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
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I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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