Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
