is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
