id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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