He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
