he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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