Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
