dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
