Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize