dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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