sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
