it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
