Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
