Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Two words: blizzard sex
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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