did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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