Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I wear drunk well.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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