Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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