bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My balls are so social today.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
