So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Randomize
