Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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