I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
