id be glad to
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
