Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
