Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
