hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
