There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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