There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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