I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
