Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker

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  (601): I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker http://tfl.nu/yjj7
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (1481)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'

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  (518): Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine' http://tfl.nu/z72n
  Replies (7) Good night (2579) Bad night (558)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I miss Bob Barker.

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Yeah, more like Douche Carey...

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  (816): I miss Bob Barker. (808): Yeah, more like Douche Carey... http://tfl.nu/37q6
  Replies (12) Good night (1718) Bad night (796)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

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  (775): I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie. http://tfl.nu/cht2
  Replies (53) Good night (9305) Bad night (885)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

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  (203): i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room... http://tfl.nu/dscd
  Replies (17) Good night (754) Bad night (8145)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.

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  (941): Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band. http://tfl.nu/r564
  Replies (11) Good night (1085) Bad night (4308)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?

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  (214): decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!? http://tfl.nu/ozc5
  Replies (31) Good night (9687) Bad night (1172)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.

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  (905): Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should. http://tfl.nu/b27t
  Replies (45) Good night (9131) Bad night (2714)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.

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  (585): Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary. http://tfl.nu/sahm
  Replies (8) Good night (1933) Bad night (991)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number

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  (509): God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number http://tfl.nu/k3zo
  Replies (5) Good night (2150) Bad night (1142)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.

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  (775): all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now. http://tfl.nu/wlt7
  Replies (16) Good night (2509) Bad night (949)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here

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  (740): She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here http://tfl.nu/x0jk
  Replies (4) Good night (396) Bad night (765)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.

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  (614): I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/so3i
  Replies (4) Good night (420) Bad night (384)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.

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  (770): Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes. http://tfl.nu/ubpd
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (431)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.

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  (405): So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door. http://tfl.nu/69g0
  Replies (4) Good night (569) Bad night (228)

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