Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  i cant believe jose lima did steroids

  (281): View more from Texas

  apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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  (713): i cant believe jose lima did steroids (281): apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball http://tfl.nu/yhdf
  Replies (13) Good night (1942) Bad night (2282)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.

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  (864): she really just asked how mermaids reproduce. http://tfl.nu/5doz
  Replies (41) Good night (3699) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.

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  (858): Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them. http://tfl.nu/9mrx
  Replies (22) Good night (6467) Bad night (1273)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out

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  (304): tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out http://tfl.nu/97pi
  Replies (9) Good night (1148) Bad night (5451)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.

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  (913): he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying. http://tfl.nu/sfs9
  Replies (18) Good night (1574) Bad night (4260)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.

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  (864): Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw. http://tfl.nu/6c9n
  Replies (21) Good night (3407) Bad night (2404)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

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  (910): Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study. http://tfl.nu/l0py
  Replies (13) Good night (2438) Bad night (3152)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  "thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.

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  (213): "thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups. http://tfl.nu/qpz7
  Replies (17) Good night (3115) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.

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  (707): We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/1jar
  Replies (2) Good night (2355) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.

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  (361): Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin. http://tfl.nu/3skp
  Replies (2) Good night (1819) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?

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  (910): This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/41ta
  Replies (6) Good night (2192) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight

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  (508): And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight http://tfl.nu/ebf5
  Replies (6) Good night (1827) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...

  (1-415): View more from California

  So no fakes?

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  (415): So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail... (1-415): So no fakes? http://tfl.nu/49wz
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.

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  (226): This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible. http://tfl.nu/a5mz
  Replies (6) Good night (2806) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.

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  (408): He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend. http://tfl.nu/9uge
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (977)

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