Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  ad ew i am wasted whats my problem

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  (415): ad ew i am wasted whats my problem http://tfl.nu/k96e
  Replies (1) Good night (1047) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.

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  (847): my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b. http://tfl.nu/5vrv
  Replies (6) Good night (996) Bad night (3778)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?

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  (+44): What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight? http://tfl.nu/q5oy
  Replies (15) Good night (953) Bad night (3815)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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  (201): i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds. http://tfl.nu/tub0
  Replies (12) Good night (3044) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Wtf? What happened?

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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  (931): Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other. (1-931): Wtf? What happened? (931): Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home. http://tfl.nu/q0zo
  Replies (42) Good night (17715) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.

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  (513): He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/a93z
  Replies (13) Good night (4601) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.

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  (217): i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college. http://tfl.nu/qid3
  Replies (8) Good night (3648) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

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  (832): im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate http://tfl.nu/io2z
  Replies (20) Good night (1270) Bad night (3379)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.

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  (925): I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible. http://tfl.nu/f1y0
  Replies (7) Good night (3886) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."

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  (720): He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples." http://tfl.nu/rub1
  Replies (8) Good night (4567) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation

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  (303): there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation http://tfl.nu/pddg
  Replies (1) Good night (2946) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.

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  (914): They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies. http://tfl.nu/g6fw
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just called the consul general of France "dude"

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  (310): Just called the consul general of France "dude" http://tfl.nu/uwot
  Replies (7) Good night (2396) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question

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  (336): Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question http://tfl.nu/9vj8
  Replies (12) Good night (1451) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year

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  (228): My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year http://tfl.nu/fbfd
  Replies (28) Good night (210) Bad night (1657)

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