i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."