Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Randomize
Follow @tfln