it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.