This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.