they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.