I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
