ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
