3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
there is puke in my bra ... again
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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