i just sent this text using only my big toe
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
