Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
