I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
