And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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