They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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