the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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