my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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