O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
