it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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