I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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