The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I enjoy the company of your penis
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