oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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