All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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