I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Two words: nipple clamps
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