Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
