I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize