He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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