we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
