but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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