Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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